Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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