I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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