do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
