Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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