I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
