Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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