____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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