I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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