don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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