Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
