I'm really into asian looking animals
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize