We're facebook friends in real life
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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