hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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