You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
