I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
