I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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