Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
