I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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