the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
