Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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