my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
