butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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