Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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