Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
