i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
