I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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