okay pat passed out under dana's car
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
