I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
