when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
