just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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