I'm lost and stupid without you.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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