Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize