I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
