But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
