this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
