Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize