He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
