3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
