you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
