Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Still dying that you shit outside
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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