Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
