; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
