I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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