her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
