Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
