I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize