All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
