mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize