the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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