Slut skills are useful in every country.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize