Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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