why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
