She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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