Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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