Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
