The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
