i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
