Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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