So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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