is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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