After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize