i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
