just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
