I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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