I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
