Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
