They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I will die if light touches me.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
