My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
