I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
