so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
