at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
