yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
