I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
NoShamevember. You game?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
