guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
