Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think people are normalizing furries
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
